I always think about why I am here. I was always told that there is a purpose for everything; and this has become a question that continues to plague my subconscious, and that momentary decision can become a really long time. Making choices gets more difficult as my life progresses; I look for the perfect choice in each situation. My choices were mine to make but the resulting consequences are often out of my control.
After 24 years of making choices, I find it funny how often I regret the choices I have made because I argue over if it is the choice which would have given me maximum satisfaction. For each choice I make, I will cherish it but also complain about it.
My mind will not cease exploring possibilities, triggering a limitless collection of desires. That means there is no limit to desires, and these desires often lead me to actions which results in more options and again I must make a choice. Desires will never end, this is the beauty of life and our human mind, must always desire. “………………………………, when one is bored and needs to desire, all that’s left to wish for, is the desire to desire” (Laiet , 2010).
I spoil myself, by trying to make up for the choices I have made by making more choices and regretting even more as I always think about what and how it would have been if I made that other choice. Running after destiny, and attempting to find out what I was born for, what is my purpose of being here, these are the questions which most of the gen Y-ers like me think about. Life would be too unfair and waste, if by the end, we find that the purpose of our lives is only to find the purpose of our life.
When something unexpected happens with good results, and people get what they always wanted or get something that they never expected to, people tend to give the credit to an over-rated phenomenon called “luck”. But luck is a result of the choices we have made. The universe in my mind sees that when all things fall into the exact right place, I am the luckiest person sometimes, but sometimes the consequences are more messed up than the exhaust of a black hole.
I have no idea what is going to happen in the next particular second, so how can I think that if the choice I make is going to be right or wrong, good or bad? I am often my own worst enemy or sometimes my own best friend and it doesn’t always depend on the choices I have made, I find that it depends on how I live with the choices I have made. Regret often comes with happiness, it cannot be avoided. It’s a choice package deal you know. I have already paid for it, by making the bloody choice.
Choices will always confuse me because there is no right one. I have to make my move, live with it and deal with it. I am on my choice date with destiny and I have discovered that I am my own worst enemy.
I am so over this!! 